9.21.2005

Bastardizing Blog

Been wanting to write, but lately I’ve been blogsausted. I’ve discovered myself morphing whole or parts of the word blog into new words. I call it Blocabulary. I am a child of the 80s, when Sniglets were running rampant. It's not an excuse, just an observation.
blogsausted: just plain tuckered
blog block: a more specific version of writer’s block
blogophobia: fear of blogging
blogbsessed: can’t stop reading/writing/commenting on blogs
blidiot: a blogger no one can stand
blix: getting your blog fix
Sniglet: not my word, but here are some old favs...
Blurfle (bler' ful) - v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops. (note ancient word "disco")
Arachnidiot (ar ak ni' di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly. (this happened to me yesterday, but the spider web was real)
Chalktrauma (chawk' traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard. (the vision comes to mind of everyone's hair standing on end in "Better Off Dead")
napjerk (np-jrk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off. (especially funny to watch when someone did it in the middle of math class)

Is there a word for the person who is avoiding doing anything except half-blogging?

9.16.2005

No Offense, But....

I just did something that is big pet peeve of mine. I actually just began a sentence with the phrase "No offense, but..." Wouldn't you agree that the person who starts with "No offense, but..." isn't acutally intending not to offend you, they are just warning you to brace yourself for a majorly offensive remark about to spew from their mouth? I mean, let's get real, what should be said is, "I am SO about to offend you now, so if you don't think you can stand it, stick your fingers in your ears and make humming sounds until my mouth stops moving."

I checked out a website called http://www.wordorigins.org/ Pet Peeve wasn't on the list, but these were: Happy as a clam, Keeping up with the Joneses, Pay through the nose, and Dressed to the nines.

SO You're Getting a Divorce? Hmmmmmmm.

Apparently I have blogophobia. It’s kind of like when I decided I was ready to get pregnant then didn’t have sex for two months. There was no immaculate conception; so i suppose there will be no immaculate blogging. A friend commented that I just have to do the free-flowing thing…talk about my day…or my week…or my life.

So let’s just jump right into this Me-Fest and talk about divorce. It is really a kick and a hoot. For those of you tired of the same humdrum of sticking needles in your eyes, going through a divorce is an option to consider. There are of course about ten thousand subjects I could drone on about. So, I’ll begin with one.

You think people are a certain way. Then you go and do something that goes against their grain, and BAM, things are revealed. I discovered that outside the courtroom, judgment was going to be a big part of this divorce. Aside from the true-bluers in my friendship circle (who believe me, became even truer), there were others who just didn’t do well with my divorce. With comments such as “did you try counseling?” and “what about your child?” and “can’t you stick it out?” and “how bad could it be?” and “how will you survive?” and “how could you rip apart your family?” I discovered that many of these comments were driven by unhappy, scared people who have taken up residence on Planet Denial and would rather blame and judge you than look into the mirror. And then I thought back to any person I knew who was going through a divorce. How did I react to it? Was I all holier than thou about staying married? Did I try to “fix” their problems or insist that they try harder? I don’t think I did. I think I thought it was none of my beeswax. But then again I don’t have any close friends or relatives who have gone through it.

And so with these people, the division line began. Those who supported me. Those who thought I was cockroach crap. Oh, I struggled with the judgment; believe me, because I can be a bit of a people pleaser. But I worked through it, and do you know what? Life is less complicated with those people no longer in my life. It made room for the ones who have given me more than I could ask for. It also makes room for all the new complications that have arisen….like feeling like a hootchie mama man-eater divorcee at your child’s first ever Halloween party, but that’s another entry.